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| nora_m-p [2026/01/25 21:43] – [Stepchildren] judith | nora_m-p [2026/02/23 21:21] (current) – judith |
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| It was common for colonial widowers to remarry within five years of their first wife's death, and to marry younger single women.((Peter McDonald and Patricia Quiggin, 'Lifecourse transitions in Victoria in the 1880s', //Families in Colonial Australia// ed. P. Grimshaw, C. McConville and Ellen McEwen, Sydney: George Allen & Unwin, 1985, pp.74-75.)) But in this case, the age difference was at the extremes. Nora was 27 years younger than her husband and only two years older than her eldest stepson. It was not an easy relationship for any of the family to manage, but it appears to have worked. It helped that Nora gave, to her eldest stepdaughter Rosa Praed at least, the impression of being placid,((Helen Woolcock et al, '"My beloved chloroform': Attitudes to Childbearing in Colonial Queensland', Social History of Medicine Journal,p.440)) although her correspondence suggests that, while ultimately pragmatic, there was a great deal of introspection and emotional turmoil behind her calm surface.\\ | It was common for colonial widowers to remarry within five years of their first wife's death, and to marry younger single women.((Peter McDonald and Patricia Quiggin, 'Lifecourse transitions in Victoria in the 1880s', //Families in Colonial Australia// ed. P. Grimshaw, C. McConville and Ellen McEwen, Sydney: George Allen & Unwin, 1985, pp.74-75.)) But in this case, the age difference was at the extremes. Nora was 27 years younger than her husband and only two years older than her eldest stepson. It was not an easy relationship for any of the family to manage, but it appears to have worked. It helped that Nora gave, to her eldest stepdaughter Rosa Praed at least, the impression of being placid,((Helen Woolcock et al, '"My beloved chloroform': Attitudes to Childbearing in Colonial Queensland', Social History of Medicine Journal,p.440)) although her correspondence suggests that, while ultimately pragmatic, there was a great deal of introspection and emotional turmoil behind her calm surface.\\ |
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| TLM-P at the time of his second marriage: {{:tlmp_hairy.jpg?250|}} {{:nora_cm-p.jpg?250|}} Nora at a similar time. Her Superintendent of Nursing/Matron at Sydney Hospital, {{https://sydneyuniversitypress.com.au/products/78882|Lucy Osburn}}, wrote in 1873 thanking 'Sister Nora' for sending her photo: from the description, it was this one.((It is wrongly identified as TLM-P's mother Eliza Skynner M-P by State Library of Queensland.)) All surviving photos of her, like this one, were formal ones taken in a photography studio. She dressed with precision and propriety and, perhaps, her cap and relatively sober style was a deliberate attempt to minimise the appearance of the age difference between her and TLM-P. Both were described as tall.\\ | TLM-P at the time of his second marriage: {{:tlmp_hairy.jpg?250|}} {{:nora_cm-p.jpg?250|}}{{:nora1_colour.png?250|}} Nora at a similar time and a **speculative** AI colourised and cleaned up version.((Thanks to John Cameron)) Her Superintendent of Nursing/Matron at Sydney Hospital, {{https://sydneyuniversitypress.com.au/products/78882|Lucy Osburn}}, wrote in 1873 thanking 'Sister Nora' for sending her photo: from the description, it was this one.((It is wrongly identified as TLM-P's mother Eliza Skynner M-P by State Library of Queensland.)) All surviving photos of her, like this one, were formal ones taken in a photography studio. She dressed with precision and propriety and, perhaps, her cap and relatively sober style was a deliberate attempt to minimise the appearance of the age difference between her and TLM-P. Both were described as tall.\\ |
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| Part of Nora's success as a second wife and stepmother was her adaptability, boosted by her having had a much less sheltered life than many middle-class women in the Victorian age.\\ | Part of Nora's success as a second wife and stepmother was her adaptability, boosted by her having had a much less sheltered life than many middle-class women in the Victorian age.\\ |
| Nora may have had another family link to TLM-P: possibly her uncle (from 1877, Sir) [[http://adb.anu.edu.au/biography/darvall-sir-john-bayley-3370|John Darvall]] had been educated by the [[tlm-p_s_childhood|Rev. William Drury]], as had TLM-P.((The //Australian Dictionary of Biography// states that John Darvall was educated at Eton, but Isobel Hannah claimed that he was educated by Drury, Isobel Hannah, 'The Royal Descent of the First Postmaster-General of Queensland', //Queensland Geographical Journal//, vol. LV, 1953-54, p.11. Possibly both statements are correct.))\\ | Nora may have had another family link to TLM-P: possibly her uncle (from 1877, Sir) [[http://adb.anu.edu.au/biography/darvall-sir-john-bayley-3370|John Darvall]] had been educated by the [[tlm-p_s_childhood|Rev. William Drury]], as had TLM-P.((The //Australian Dictionary of Biography// states that John Darvall was educated at Eton, but Isobel Hannah claimed that he was educated by Drury, Isobel Hannah, 'The Royal Descent of the First Postmaster-General of Queensland', //Queensland Geographical Journal//, vol. LV, 1953-54, p.11. Possibly both statements are correct.))\\ |
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| ==== The marriage ==== | ==== Marriage ==== |
| TLM-P had a strong need to remarry: to provide a stepmother for his eight surviving children, the youngest of whom (Egerton) was 6 years old. Yet Nora's maternal suitability was not his only consideration. There is a letter from TLM-P to Nora nine days before they married - handle it carefully as it is still smoking with passion! TLM-P's letter was desperate as it appears Nora had cold feet, most likely because she became aware of his illegitimate children: he implored her to have faith in him as a husband, underlining 'I love you. I want you'.((M-P family papers, NLA MS 7801, Special Set 14, folder 20)) She believed him enough to go ahead with their wedding at St Anne's Church of England,[[wp>Ryde,_New_South_Wales| Ryde]] on 18 December 1872. One of the witnesses to the wedding was TLM-P's daughter Lizzie.((BDM, registration number 3393/1872; St Anne' Parish Register, microfilm 0110, Society of Australian Genealogists.)) The day before, TLM-P signed a marriage settlement ensuring her an income in widowhood, with her two sisters' husbands as trustees.((TLM-P, Last will and testament, 1892. As noted above, after Henry Martin moved to England with a cloud over his reputation, TLM-P got him to renounce his role as trustee ((Diary 5 July 1882, ML.))\\ | TLM-P had a strong need to remarry: to provide a stepmother for his eight surviving children, the youngest of whom (Egerton) was 6 years old. Yet Nora's maternal suitability was not his only consideration. There is a letter from TLM-P to Nora nine days before they married - handle it carefully as it is still smoking with passion! TLM-P's letter was desperate as it appears Nora had cold feet, most likely because she became aware of his illegitimate children: he implored her to have faith in him as a husband, underlining 'I love you. I want you'.((M-P family papers, NLA MS 7801, Special Set 14, folder 20)) She believed him enough to go ahead with their wedding at St Anne's Church of England,[[wp>Ryde,_New_South_Wales| Ryde]] on 18 December 1872. One of the witnesses to the wedding was TLM-P's daughter Lizzie.((BDM, registration number 3393/1872; St Anne' Parish Register, microfilm 0110, Society of Australian Genealogists.)) The day before, TLM-P signed a marriage settlement ensuring her an income in widowhood, with her two sisters' husbands as trustees.((TLM-P, Last will and testament, 1892. As noted above, after Henry Martin moved to England with a cloud over his reputation, TLM-P got him to renounce his role as trustee ((Diary 5 July 1882, ML.))\\ |
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