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| nora_m-p [2025/07/21 14:56] – [Nora M-P nee Barton] judith | nora_m-p [2025/07/21 14:57] (current) – [Nora M-P nee Barton] judith |
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| Managing the generation gap was not easy, but overall the marriage appears to have been happy. In a letter of Nora's to her stepdaughter Rosa two years after her marriage, she writes that, returning to Maroon after a visit to Brisbane, she 'realised fully that the great pleasure of leaving home is coming back again'.((Nora M-P to Rosa Praed, 27 December 1874, Praed papers, QJO Box 4. check quote)) A decade after their marriage, TLM-P was addressing his letters to her as 'My own Darling'; she addressed him as 'dearest husband'.((M-P family papers, NLA MS 7801, Special Set 14/36.)) Later still, she affectionately teased with calling him 'the Father'.((M-P family papers, NLA MS 7801, Box 4, folder 20.)) In 1882, when TLM-P was in England, the gentle teasing went the other way when he deplored that he had not time to write 'a nice letter to dear old wife to let her see how I think of her and love her.'((TLM-P, Diary, 14 June 1882)) As telling was his comment when visiting Nora's relatives: Julia Sterling's 'likeness to Nora is very great, and even many little ways and the manner of talking, very cheery and in all ways nice and sympathetic'.((TLM-P, Diary, 17 June 1882)) Two months later, he received a letter from Nora which indicated she was worried, both she and his daughter Lizzie were ill, the seasons were 'bad', and her younger stepsons causing problems. His response was immediate: 'Poor darling it is too much for her and I must get back as soon as I can.' If news of the boys from Nora continued to be bad, he planned to cancel going to Scotland and Ireland, and 'go back at once' via the continent. A disappointment for him, and, with the lack of information about aspects of his Irish roots, a loss for us.((TLM-P, Diary, 16 August 1882)) \\ | Managing the generation gap was not easy, but overall the marriage appears to have been happy. In a letter of Nora's to her stepdaughter Rosa two years after her marriage, she writes that, returning to Maroon after a visit to Brisbane, she 'realised fully that the great pleasure of leaving home is coming back again'.((Nora M-P to Rosa Praed, 27 December 1874, Praed papers, QJO Box 4. check quote)) A decade after their marriage, TLM-P was addressing his letters to her as 'My own Darling'; she addressed him as 'dearest husband'.((M-P family papers, NLA MS 7801, Special Set 14/36.)) Later still, she affectionately teased with calling him 'the Father'.((M-P family papers, NLA MS 7801, Box 4, folder 20.)) In 1882, when TLM-P was in England, the gentle teasing went the other way when he deplored that he had not time to write 'a nice letter to dear old wife to let her see how I think of her and love her.'((TLM-P, Diary, 14 June 1882)) As telling was his comment when visiting Nora's relatives: Julia Sterling's 'likeness to Nora is very great, and even many little ways and the manner of talking, very cheery and in all ways nice and sympathetic'.((TLM-P, Diary, 17 June 1882)) Two months later, he received a letter from Nora which indicated she was worried, both she and his daughter Lizzie were ill, the seasons were 'bad', and her younger stepsons causing problems. His response was immediate: 'Poor darling it is too much for her and I must get back as soon as I can.' If news of the boys from Nora continued to be bad, he planned to cancel going to Scotland and Ireland, and 'go back at once' via the continent. A disappointment for him, and, with the lack of information about aspects of his Irish roots, a loss for us.((TLM-P, Diary, 16 August 1882)) \\ |
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| TLM-P's will, made in 1892, the year he died, is further evidence of his love and care for Nora. With Australia in the midst of a deep depression, there was valid concern that his assets could not cover his bequests: in that case, he stipulated that Nora's portion be paid first, if necessary proportionally reducing his children's inheritance. Further, his provision for his wife was generous: he gave her a choice between continuing with her marriage settlement, or accepting £10,000 (roughly equivalent to $1,427,346 in 2017 values) instead. In both cases, the money was to be invested for her by trustees.((TLM-P, Last will and testament, copy in possession of J. Godden; Thom Blake, how much is it worth? http://www.thomblake.com.au/secondary/hisdata/calculate.php)) She chose to accept the £10,000, but unfortunately it took a court case to insist that the trustees, including her brother Charles (Charlie) Barton, should set aside the money and invest for her benefit - perhaps because of the poor economic conditions they had not sold the properties necessary to raise the money. As well, as the court pointed out, if the trustees invested unwisely, Nora's income was 'liable to be diminished or totally lost'.((Supreme Court of Queensland, no 166, judgement 3 November 1905; TLM-P, Last will and testament, 1892; both copies held by J. Godden.)) When she died in 1931, probate on Nora's estate was £1,770/6/4 and it was recorded that her income included a £500 annuity from her late husband's estate. That amounted to a payment of around £20,000 over 40 years.((Probate for Nora Clarina Murray-Prior, no.176840, 19 October 1931, State Archives, copy held by J. Godden)\\ | TLM-P's will, made in 1892, the year he died, is further evidence of his love and care for Nora. With Australia in the midst of a deep depression, there was valid concern that his assets could not cover his bequests: in that case, he stipulated that Nora's portion be paid first, if necessary proportionally reducing his children's inheritance. Further, his provision for his wife was generous: he gave her a choice between continuing with her marriage settlement, or accepting £10,000 (roughly equivalent to $1,427,346 in 2017 values) instead. In both cases, the money was to be invested for her by trustees.((TLM-P, Last will and testament, copy in possession of J. Godden; Thom Blake, how much is it worth? http://www.thomblake.com.au/secondary/hisdata/calculate.php)) She chose to accept the £10,000, but unfortunately it took a court case to insist that the trustees, including her brother Charles (Charlie) Barton, should set aside the money and invest for her benefit - perhaps because of the poor economic conditions they had not sold the properties necessary to raise the money. As well, as the court pointed out, if the trustees invested unwisely, Nora's income was 'liable to be diminished or totally lost'.((Supreme Court of Queensland, no 166, judgement 3 November 1905; TLM-P, Last will and testament, 1892; both copies held by J. Godden.)) When she died in 1931, probate on Nora's estate was £1,770/6/4 and it was recorded that her income included a £500 annuity from her late husband's estate. That amounted to a payment of around £20,000 over 40 years.((Probate for Nora Clarina Murray-Prior, no.176840, 19 October 1931, State Archives, copy held by J. Godden))\\ |
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| While the marriage was basically happy, there was a generation gap in attitudes towards women's rights, especially over their fertility. Nora wrote to her friend and stepdaughter Rosa that TLM-P had 'no sympathy' with her misery during pregnancy. While she (and her sister Rose) resented constant pregnancies over which they had no control, TLM-P 'only gets cross with me ... looks upon it as a sign [of a] free thinking tendency and want of faith' in providence. He thought, Nora complained to Rosa, that 'one ought to feel grateful for what providence sends, even tho’ it costs one’s health, strength and life' (as, she didn't need to add, it had for Rosa's mother).((Nora to Rosa, 16 May [1881])) For more on Nora's views on religion, see Howard Le Couteur.((‘Brisbane Anglicans, 1842–1875’, PhD thesis, Macquarie University, 2007, ch.6.)) In contrast, Nora believed that human acts not providence caused so many pregnancies - why hold providence responsible for 'what we take such a large share in bringing about?'.((Nora to Rosa, 16 May 1881, JOL)) TLM-P's attitude was that of an older generation - a prejudice against 'weedy wives' and a firm belief that a woman's 'chief delight' should be having children and raising her family.((Helen Woolcock et al, '"My beloved chloroform': Attitudes to Childbearing in Colonial Queensland', //Social History of Medicine Journal//, p.443, citing Nora to Rosa, 15 June [1884].))\\ | While the marriage was basically happy, there was a generation gap in attitudes towards women's rights, especially over their fertility. Nora wrote to her friend and stepdaughter Rosa that TLM-P had 'no sympathy' with her misery during pregnancy. While she (and her sister Rose) resented constant pregnancies over which they had no control, TLM-P 'only gets cross with me ... looks upon it as a sign [of a] free thinking tendency and want of faith' in providence. He thought, Nora complained to Rosa, that 'one ought to feel grateful for what providence sends, even tho’ it costs one’s health, strength and life' (as, she didn't need to add, it had for Rosa's mother).((Nora to Rosa, 16 May [1881])) For more on Nora's views on religion, see Howard Le Couteur.((‘Brisbane Anglicans, 1842–1875’, PhD thesis, Macquarie University, 2007, ch.6.)) In contrast, Nora believed that human acts not providence caused so many pregnancies - why hold providence responsible for 'what we take such a large share in bringing about?'.((Nora to Rosa, 16 May 1881, JOL)) TLM-P's attitude was that of an older generation - a prejudice against 'weedy wives' and a firm belief that a woman's 'chief delight' should be having children and raising her family.((Helen Woolcock et al, '"My beloved chloroform': Attitudes to Childbearing in Colonial Queensland', //Social History of Medicine Journal//, p.443, citing Nora to Rosa, 15 June [1884].))\\ |