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--- nora_m-p [2024/06/18 18:11] – [Nora M-P nee Barton] judith
+++ nora_m-p [2025/01/18 22:01] (current) – [Widowhood, Travel and Old Age] judith
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 Like Matilda, Nora had numerous family connections in Queensland - which probably explains how she and TLM-P met. The likelihood of their meeting was enhanced by Queensland's small European population: at the time of their marriage there were just under 72,000 living there.((Vamplew, Wray (ed.), //Australians. Historical Statistics//, Sydney: Fairfax, Syme & Weldon Associates, 1987, p.27)) Perhaps the most important for Nora was her younger sister Georgiana (Georgie) who also married a Queenslander, in a double wedding with Nora and TLM-P. Georgie's husband was Henry Martin, a cashier in the Queensland railways who, after their marriage, worked in Rockhampton.((TLM-P, Diary, 5 July 1882, ML; St Anne's Church of England, Ryde Parish Register, microfilm Society of Australian Genealogists.)) He resigned c.1880-81 to move to England, with a shadow over his reputation when shortly after his departure from Queensland, he could not account for cheques totalling £740 (worth around $115,012 in 2017 values). For more, click on [[Martins]]  when TLM-P visited them in [[tlm-p_s_diaries|1882]].((Introduction, Praed papers, JOLQ, p.5; Nora M-P letters, 1880, JOLQ)) \\
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-Other relatives of Nora's in Queensland included her uncle, Frederick (Fred) Orme Darvall. He and his wife Deborah had moved to Queensland by 1860 after he had been appointed that Colony's Registrar-General. In 1867 Fred Darvall was appointed Auditor-General, serving in that position for 10 years. He also held various other positions, including Registrar of the Supreme Court in 1859 and Visiting Justice to Brisbane Gaol and Lunatic Asylum in 1861-62. He and TLM-P were both members of the Council of the Queensland Acclimatisation Society in the early 1860s.((//The Brisbane Courier//, 14 May 1863, p.2.)) In 1911, their daughter Frederica married Francis Bell, and the couple lived on the Bell family property //Coochin Coochin//, which bordered on to TLM-P's property //Maroon//.((Norman Pixle, 'The Bells and "Coochin Coochin". An historic Queensland Family', //Journal of the Royal Historical Society of Queensland//, VIII:4, 1968-69, p.624.)) It is a further sign of the closely connected 'squatter' society of the day, that Frederick Darvall's home (Nunnington, named after the large home that the family believed had been his father's home in Yorkshire, though no evidence has been found to confirm this belief) in Brisbane was bought in c.1877, by Matilda M-P's brother-in-law, William Barker.((F.Lord, //The Queenslander//, 13 February 1930, p.50.))\\
+Other relatives of Nora's in Queensland included her uncle, Frederick (Fred) Orme Darvall. He and his wife Deborah had moved to Queensland by 1860 after he had been appointed that Colony's Registrar-General. In 1867 Fred Darvall was appointed Auditor-General, serving in that position for 10 years. He also held various other positions, including Registrar of the Supreme Court in 1859 and Visiting Justice to Brisbane Gaol and Lunatic Asylum in 1861-62. He and TLM-P were both members of the Council of the Queensland Acclimatisation Society in the early 1860s.((//The Brisbane Courier//, 14 May 1863, p.2.)) In 1911, their daughter Frederica married Francis Bell, and the couple lived on the Bell family property //Coochin Coochin//, which bordered on to TLM-P's property //Maroon//.((Norman Pixle, 'The Bells and "Coochin Coochin". An historic Queensland Family', //Journal of the Royal Historical Society of Queensland//, VIII:4, 1968-69, p.624.)) It is a further sign of the closely connected 'squatter' society of the day, that Frederick Darvall's home (//Nunnington//, named after the large home that the family believed had been his father's home in Yorkshire, though no evidence has been found to confirm this belief) in Brisbane was bought in c.1877, by Matilda M-P's brother-in-law, William Barker.((F.Lord, //The Queenslander//, 13 February 1930, p.50.))\\
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-Both the children of Jane Darvall, the second wife of Nora's grandfather Edward Darvall, lived in Queensland (Nora and TLMP's age difference was nothing compared to Edward and Jane's 52 years difference! Again the marriage appears to have been a success). One was Anthony Darvall who was appointed by TLM-P in his 1892 will as one of his trustees. Anthony had lived in Queensland for some time as he married Kate Wilson there in 1869; he was the manager of the Joint Stock Bank in Ipswich.((Philippa Garnsey, Family of Anthony Griffin and his wife Jane, email to J.Godden, 5 July 2018; Kevin Shaw (ed) //Historic Ryde: a guide to some significant heritage sites in the city of Ryde//, Ryde District Historical Society, 2002, p.102.)) The second was Sarah Ann (Annie) Darvall who married William Tully, later Queensland's Surveyor-General and Secretary of Lands.((for photo of Annie, see Andrew Darbyshire, A Fair Slice of St Lucia. Thomas Lodge Murray-Prior, St Lucia History Group research paper no. 8, p.73.)) When Annie died in childbirth, Nora's grief was compounded by fears that she too would meet that fate.((M-P family papers, NLA, MS 7801, Box 7, folder 42 and Box 4, folder 20, letter of TLM-P to Nora M-P, 31 March 1875.)) It is interesting that the families were so close despite the censorious times. Nora had to know that both her step-cousins were born years before their parents married. \\
+Both the children of Jane Darvall, the second wife of Nora's grandfather Edward Darvall, lived in Queensland (Nora and TLMP's age difference was nothing compared to Edward and Jane's c.47 years difference! Again the marriage appears to have been a success). One was Anthony Darvall who was appointed by TLM-P in his 1892 will as one of his trustees. Anthony had lived in Queensland for some time as he married Kate Wilson there in 1869; he was the manager of the Joint Stock Bank in Ipswich.((Philippa Garnsey, Family of Anthony Griffin and his wife Jane, email to J.Godden, 5 July 2018; Kevin Shaw (ed) //Historic Ryde: a guide to some significant heritage sites in the city of Ryde//, Ryde District Historical Society, 2002, p.102.)) The second was Sarah Ann (Annie) Darvall who married William Tully, later Queensland's Surveyor-General and Secretary of Lands.((for photo of Annie, see Andrew Darbyshire, //A Fair Slice of St Lucia. Thomas Lodge Murray-Prior//, St Lucia History Group research paper no. 8, p.73.)) When Annie died in childbirth, Nora's grief for her friend was compounded by fears that she too would meet that fate.((M-P family papers, NLA, MS 7801, Box 7, folder 42 and Box 4, folder 20, letter of TLM-P to Nora M-P, 31 March 1875.)) It is interesting that the families were so close despite the censorious times. Nora had to know that both her stepcousins were born years before their parents married. \\
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-Nora may have had another family link to TLM-P: possibly her uncle (later Sir) [[http://adb.anu.edu.au/biography/darvall-sir-john-bayley-3370|John Darvall]] had been educated by the [[tlm-p_s_childhood|Rev. William Drury]], as had TLM-P.((The //Australian Dictionary of Biography// states that John Darvall was educated at Eton, but Isobel Hannah claimed that he was educated by Drury, Isobel Hannah, 'The Royal Descent of the First Postmaster-General of Queensland', //Queensland Geographical Journal//, vol. LV, 1953-54, p.11. Possibly both statements are correct.))\\
+Nora may have had another family link to TLM-P: possibly her uncle (from 1877, Sir) [[http://adb.anu.edu.au/biography/darvall-sir-john-bayley-3370|John Darvall]] had been educated by the [[tlm-p_s_childhood|Rev. William Drury]], as had TLM-P.((The //Australian Dictionary of Biography// states that John Darvall was educated at Eton, but Isobel Hannah claimed that he was educated by Drury, Isobel Hannah, 'The Royal Descent of the First Postmaster-General of Queensland', //Queensland Geographical Journal//, vol. LV, 1953-54, p.11. Possibly both statements are correct.))\\
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 {{:nora_cm-p.jpg?250|}} Her Superintendent of Nursing/Matron at Sydney Hospital, {{https://sydneyuniversitypress.com.au/products/78882|Lucy Osburn}}, wrote in 1873 thanking 'Sister Nora' for sending her photo: from the description, it was this one.((It is wrongly identified as TLM-P's mother Eliza Skynner M-P by State Library of Queensland.))\\
 TLM-P at the time of his second marriage: {{:tlmp_hairy.jpg?250|}}\\
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-TLM-P had a strong need to remarry: to provide a step-mother for his eight surviving children, the youngest of whom (Egerton) was 6 years old. Yet Nora's maternal suitability was not his only consideration. There is a letter from TLM-P to Nora nine days before they married - handle it carefully as it is still smoking with passion! TLM-P's letter was desperate as it appears Nora had cold feet, most likely because she became aware of his illegitimate children: he implored her to have faith in him as a husband, underlining 'I love you. I want you'.((M-P family papers, NLA MS 7801, Special Set 14, folder 20)) She believed him enough to go ahead with their wedding at St Anne's Church of England,[[wp>Ryde,_New_South_Wales| Ryde]] on 18 December 1872.((BDM, registration number 3393/1872.)) The day before, TLM-P signed a marriage settlement ensuring her an income in widowhood, with her two sisters' husbands as trustees.((TLM-P, Last will and testament, 1892. As noted above in the entry on the Martins, after Henry moved to England, and had a cloud over his reputation, TLM-P got him to renounce his role as trustee, Diary 5 July 1882, ML.))\\
+TLM-P had a strong need to remarry: to provide a stepmother for his eight surviving children, the youngest of whom (Egerton) was 6 years old. Yet Nora's maternal suitability was not his only consideration. There is a letter from TLM-P to Nora nine days before they married - handle it carefully as it is still smoking with passion! TLM-P's letter was desperate as it appears Nora had cold feet, most likely because she became aware of his illegitimate children: he implored her to have faith in him as a husband, underlining 'I love you. I want you'.((M-P family papers, NLA MS 7801, Special Set 14, folder 20)) She believed him enough to go ahead with their wedding at St Anne's Church of England,[[wp>Ryde,_New_South_Wales| Ryde]] on 18 December 1872. One of the witnesses to the wedding was TLM-P's daughter Lizzie.((BDM, registration number 3393/1872; St Anne' Parish Register, microfilm 0110, Society of Australian Genealogists.)) The day before, TLM-P signed a marriage settlement ensuring her an income in widowhood, with her two sisters' husbands as trustees.((TLM-P, Last will and testament, 1892. As noted above, after Henry Martin moved to England, and had a cloud over his reputation, TLM-P got him to renounce his role as trustee ((Diary 5 July 1882, ML.))\\
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+Managing the generation gap was not easy, but overall the marriage appears to have been happy. In a letter of Nora's to her stepdaughter Rosa two years after her marriage, she writes that, returning to Maroon after a visit to Brisbane, she 'realised fully that the great pleasure of leaving home is coming back again'.((Nora M-P to Rosa Praed, 27 December 1874, Praed papers, QJO Box 4. check quote))  A decade after their marriage, TLM-P was addressing his letters to her as 'My own Darling'; she addressed him as 'dearest husband'.((M-P family papers, NLA MS 7801, Special Set 14/36.)) Later still, she affectionately teased with calling him 'the Father'.((M-P family papers, NLA MS 7801, Box 4, folder 20.)) In 1882, when TLM-P was in England, the gentle teasing went the other way when he deplored that he had not time to write 'a nice letter to dear old wife to let her see how I think of her and love her.'((TLM-P, Diary, 14 June 1882)) As telling was his comment when visiting Nora's relatives: Julia Sterling's 'likeness to Nora is very great, and even many little ways and the manner of talking, very cheery and in all ways nice and sympathetic'.((TLM-P, Diary, 17 June 1882)) Two months later, he received a letter from Nora which indicated she was worried, both she and his daughter Lizzie were ill, the seasons were 'bad', and her younger stepsons causing problems. His response was immediate: 'Poor darling it is too much for her and I must get back as soon as I can.' If news of the boys from Nora continued to be bad, he planned to cancel going to Scotland and Ireland, and 'go back at once' via the continent. A disappointment for him, and, with the lack of information about aspects of his Irish roots, a loss for us.((TLM-P, Diary, 16 August 1882)) \\
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+TLM-P's will, made in 1892, the year he died, is further evidence of his love and care for Nora. With Australia in the midst of a deep depression, there was valid concern that his assets could not cover his bequests: in that case, he stipulated that Nora's portion be paid first, if necessary proportionally reducing his children's inheritance. Further, his provision for his wife was generous: he gave her a choice between continuing with her marriage settlement, or accepting £10,000 (roughly equivalent to $1,427,346 in 2017 values) instead. In both cases, the money was to be invested for her by trustees.((TLM-P, Last will and testament, copy in possession of J. Godden; Thom Blake, how much is it worth? http://www.thomblake.com.au/secondary/hisdata/calculate.php)) She chose to accept the £10,000, but unfortunately it took a court case to insist that the trustees, including her brother Charles (Charlie) Barton, should set aside the money and invest for her benefit - perhaps because of the poor economic conditions they had not sold the properties necessary to raise the money. As well, as the court pointed out, if the trustees invested unwisely, Nora's income was 'liable to be diminished or totally lost'.((Supreme Court of Queensland, no 166, judgement 3 November 1905; TLM-P, Last will and testament, 1892; both copies held by J. Godden.)) \\
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+While the marriage was basically happy, there was a generation gap in attitudes towards women's rights, especially over their fertility. Nora wrote to her friend and stepdaughter Rosa that TLM-P had 'no sympathy' with her misery during pregnancy. While she (and her sister Rose) resented constant pregnancies over which they had no control, TLM-P 'only gets cross with me ... looks upon it as a sign [of a] free thinking tendency and want of faith' in providence. He thought, Nora complained to Rosa, that 'one ought to feel grateful for what providence sends, even tho’ it costs one’s health, strength and life' (as, she didn't need to add, it had for Rosa's mother).((Nora to Rosa, 16 May [1881])) For more on Nora's views on religion, see Howard Le Couteur.((‘Brisbane Anglicans, 1842–1875’, PhD thesis, Macquarie University, 2007, ch.6.)) In contrast, Nora believed that human acts not providence caused so many pregnancies - why hold providence responsible for 'what we take such a large share in bringing about?'.((Nora to Rosa, 16 May 1881, JOL)) TLM-P's attitude was that of an older generation - a prejudice against 'weedy wives' and a firm belief that a woman's 'chief delight' should be having children and raising her family.((Helen Woolcock et al, '"My beloved chloroform': Attitudes to Childbearing in Colonial Queensland', //Social History of Medicine Journal//, p.443, citing Nora to Rosa, 15 June [1884].))\\
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+As Nora's views sharpened as the size of the already-large family increased, it is fortunate that TLM-P finally accepted that she had very different views on maternity from him and Matilda - he finally, she wrote to Rosa, accepted that she was not 'his ideal woman'.((Nora to Rosa, 3 December 1883)) Time was also on Nora's side. She was not alone in her attitude. Despite no equally significant advances in contraception, family size would soon plummet as women demanded control over their own fertility. Married women born in the same decade as Nora had an average of 6.8 children; those born 30 years later had 4.2 children; those born a further 30 years, in 1903-08, averaged 2.6 children. Given there was no significant advance in contraception at the time, contemporaries and historians agree that the drop was due to women's demand to limit their child-bearing.((Peter McDonald, Lado Ruzicka and Patricia Pine, ‘Marriage, fertility and Mortality’, in //Australians. Historical Statistics//, ed. W. Vamplew, Sydney: Fairfax, Syme & Weldon, 1987, p.42.)) Despite their different outlooks, TLM-P tried to be supportive during the repeated pregnancies which Nora found so hard. His attitude was, as he wrote to her circa 1880, 'Don't fret. Keep well & do what you like.'((M-P family papers, NLA MS 7801, 14/71.)) \\
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+Another cause of tension was that, while Nora loved //Maroon//, she also loved intellectual stimulation - and she found little of that in rural Queensland. She wrote to Rosa that, if Rosa visited them, she could expect to '//feel the relief of getting away from the tear and the turmoil of life to the dignity and silence of primeval nature - and that when you leave us again you will feel quite satisfied that your lot has been cast in a place where your wits can be polished and kept bright by friction with others instead of growing shrivelled and worm eaten thro lying by ... At least I have never met anyone yet who having tasted the world, could satisfy themselves afterwards with nature.//'((Nora M-P to Rosa Praed, 20 February 1881, Praed papers, QJO)) Nora had 'tasted the world' sufficiently for this comment to read as personally applicable. Two years later, with the responsibility of bringing up children at //Maroon//, she lamented to Rosa that her brain had been reduced to 'a compound of butter and jam'.((Nora M-P to Rosa Praed, 5 February 1883, M-P papers, JOQ, OM81-71.)) \\
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+Nora wrote on the back of this next photo that it was her, aged 36 years & 6 months, i.e. in mid-1882.((There is also a copy of this photo in the ML, R.J.Paterson album, PXE1709)){{ :nora_1882.jpg?250|}} For other photos of her, from her husband's album, click on [[Nora photos]].\\
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+Nora's parents were Emily Mary Barton (nee Darvall) and Robert Johnston Barton. Matilda and Nora had one thing in common: their fathers were both not-very-successful graziers. Robert Barton's property, where Nora was born, was Boree Nyrang near Orange in western NSW.((David Rutherford, //Boree Nyrang: the story of a property and a family home// Forster: David Rutherford, c.1998.)) Like TLM-P, Nora's parents had migrated in an attempt to recover their family fortunes. In Nora's case, a grandfather had reputedly been a friend of the Prince Regent (later [[wp>George_IV_of_the_United_Kingdom|King George IV]]), whose extravagant lifestyle tended to be beyond even royal means.((TLM-P, Diary, 27 June 1882))\\
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+On her mother's side, Nora came from a line of independently minded women who were, like Matilda Harpur, intellectually and artistically inclined. Her sister Emily Susan Paterson was an especially gifted artist who exhibited prominently.((Judith Godden,//The Matriarch of Rockend: Emily Mary Barton, more than Banjo Paterson’s grandmother//, Ryde History Series No.13, Ryde District Historical Society, 2021.[[http://www.rydehistory.org.au/our-published-works/]])) As a trained nursing Sister, Nora had more options than most women, and apparently weighed up marrying TLM-P against going to India (perhaps as a missionary nurse, like her mentor Lucy Osburn had originally planned for herself?).((TLM-P, Diary 17 July 1882, ML)) Amongst Nora's books there is a bible in German given to her father in 1836. Her German was good enough for her to inherit it in 1865 and write in it in German.((Provenance: J. Godden.)) She also shared Matilda's literary bent with her papers including manuscript versions of poems, including 'Australia', a patriotic poem sent to her by the then well-known Queensland poet, [[http://adb.anu.edu.au/biography/evans-george-essex-6121|George Evans Essex.]]((M-P family papers, NLA, Box 7, folder 42.)) Her 'commonplace' notebook, written when she was a Sister at Sydney Infirmary, is full of poems and hymns largely by the romantic poets of her day plus, Colin Roderick suggests, some of her own. It also includes some sketches, including a beautiful - but incomplete - one of a bird.((M-P family papers, NLA MS 7801, folder 24.)) It is significant that Rosa Praed, when commending her stepsister Ruth's literary talent, supposed that Ruth had inherited her talent from Nora.((M-P family papers, NLA, Box 1, folder 2, Rosa to Ruth, 20 April 1914.))\\
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+For more about Nora's career as one of the first Sisters at Sydney Hospital to be trained under {{https://sydneyuniversitypress.com.au/products/78882|Lucy Osburn}} in the Nightingale system of nursing, see Judith Godden, “‘Be good sweet maid’: Sister Probationer Nora Barton at the Sydney Infirmary, 1869-72’, //Labour History//, 80, 2001, pp.141-56.\\
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 ===== Nora and TLM-P's Children =====
 . Matilda (Meta) Aimee, 25 September 1873 - 18 August 1939.\\
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 . Ruth Angela, 27 July 1885-15 August 1961. \\
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-Nora was step-mother to the eight children who survived from TLM-P's first marriage to Matilda Harpur and, as shown above, eight children of her own. She presents as a loving step-mother and mother. It is significant that the level-headed eldest son of the family, Thomas de M. M-P, appreciated his youthful step-mother. One piece of evidence is a two-volume book by the explorer Henry Stanley,((//Through the Dark Continent//, London, 1878. Provenance: J. Godden.)) which he gave to Nora with, as he wrote in them, his 'best love'. Nora also demonstrated her goodwill when she named her first daughter Matilda. Her choice of second name Aimee (meaning beloved) could apply to both Matildas.\\
+Nora was stepmother to the eight children who survived from TLM-P's first marriage to Matilda Harpur and, as shown above, eight children of her own. She presents as a loving stepmother and mother. It is significant that the level-headed eldest son of the family, Thomas de M. M-P, appreciated his youthful stepmother. One piece of evidence is a two-volume book by the explorer Henry Stanley,((//Through the Dark Continent//, London, 1878. Provenance: J. Godden.)) which he gave to Nora with, as he wrote in them, his 'best love'. Nora also demonstrated her goodwill when she named her first daughter Matilda. Her choice of second name Aimee (meaning beloved) could apply to both Matildas.\\
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-Nora's eldest step-daughter, Rosa Praed, was only five years older, and they became close friends, bonding over common interests including a distaste for constant childbirth and a love of literature. It is probably no coincidence that, a year after Nora did so, Rosa also called her first-born Matilda. They corresponded regularly and intimately, with 66 of Nora's letters to 'My dearest Rosie' surviving - sadly Rosa's to Nora haven't survived. Nora and Rosa were both interested in the women's movement. A play written by Nora was partly about an 'Admission of Female Members [of Parliament] Bill': Professor of English Colin Roderick commented that, while only part survives, 'her talent is clear'.((M-P papers, NLA, Box 7, folder 42.)) Though interested in women's rights, and keen that her daughters have more options than marriage, Nora was no radical. She wrote to Rosa that://I feel so certain that the nineteenth century will not stand such iniquities much longer than every time I go on a voyage I feel (as) a man might do who was going to have his leg cut off in the year before chloroform was invented & who foresaw the invention.. Til I get my cabin to myself I don't mean to agitate about my vote or my seat in parliament - which I can get along very well without'.//((Nora M-P to Rosa Praed, 25 April 1875 (or 1874?), Praed papers QJO, box 4.))\\
+Nora's eldest stepdaughter, Rosa Praed, was only five years older, and they became close friends, bonding over common interests including a distaste for constant childbirth and a love of literature. It is probably no coincidence that, a year after Nora did so, Rosa also called her first-born Matilda. They corresponded regularly and intimately, with 66 of Nora's letters to 'My dearest Rosie' surviving - sadly Rosa's to Nora haven't survived. Nora and Rosa were both interested in the women's movement. A play written by Nora was partly about an 'Admission of Female Members [of Parliament] Bill': Professor of English Colin Roderick commented that, while only part survives, 'her talent is clear'.((M-P papers, NLA, Box 7, folder 42.)) Though interested in women's rights, and keen that her daughters have more options than marriage, Nora was no radical. She wrote to Rosa that://I feel so certain that the nineteenth century will not stand such iniquities much longer than every time I go on a voyage I feel (as) a man might do who was going to have his leg cut off in the year before chloroform was invented & who foresaw the invention.. Til I get my cabin to myself I don't mean to agitate about my vote or my seat in parliament - which I can get along very well without'.//((Nora M-P to Rosa Praed, 25 April 1875 (or 1874?), Praed papers QJO, box 4.))\\
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-Neither woman wished for more than one or two children, with Nora writing:'Though I can well understand your not wanting any more [children] & trust fervently that if my No. 2 arrives safely, it may prove the last, my precious little Meta flourishes & grows more lovable & clever every day.' Nora's love for Rosa was passed on to her young daughters when they all lived in London. Ruth, her youngest daughter, also wrote to 'Dearest Rosie', signing herself 'Your loving sister'. She was among the family to welcome Rosa's gifts of her latest book, no matter how controversial.((M-P family papers, NLA, Box 4, folder 26.))\\
+Neither woman wished for more than one or two children, with Nora writing: 'Though I can well understand your not wanting any more [children] & trust fervently that if my No. 2 arrives safely, it may prove the last, my precious little Meta flourishes & grows more lovable & clever every day.' Nora's love for Rosa was passed on to her young daughters when they all lived in London. Ruth, her youngest daughter, also wrote to 'Dearest Rosie', signing herself 'Your loving sister'. She was among the family to welcome Rosa's gifts of her latest book, no matter how controversial.((M-P family papers, NLA, Box 4, folder 26.))\\
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 Nora was highly distressed with yearly pregnancies, having she wrote to Rosa, a 'morbid horror' of large families.((Nora to Rosa, 27 July 1879 cited in Helen Woolcock et al, '"My beloved chloroform': Attitudes to Childbearing in Colonial Queensland', //Social History of Medicine Journal//, p.443.)) Given given the pro-natalist environment she lived in, it is not surprising that, while she considered 'people with large families are much to be pitied', she was 'not sure' that 'they who have none are not even worse off'.((Nora M-P to Rosa Praed, 28 February 1882, Praed papers QJO.)) Similarly, she tried to ruefully accept child-bearing as her 'mission' in life, in order to 'replenish the land'.((Nora to Rosa, 16 My 1881, QJO)) Certainly, she have reason to be wary of drastic measures, telling Rosa that she knew a woman who 'tried to abort her baby ... killed herself in the process.((Nora to Rosa, 27 September 1884.))\\
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 Her despair at her repeated pregnancies probably went beyond pure logic, but one reason was that each additional child she had detracted from TLM-P's ability to establish his existing sons with property or a profession of their own or to provide an income for the daughters (despite Nora's own example, earning their own living never seemed an option for any of the daughters). All the evidence is that she was a loving mother, and flippant comments should not be taken out of that context, as in a letter to her husband from Lausanne in 1888, that it was a matter of 'great self-reproach & sorrow to me that I should have brought into the world so many children to share the small means. I could dispense with the five youngest with happiness'.((check quote and context,?M-P family papers, NLA MS 7801, Box 4, folder 20, Nora to TLM-P, 18 April 1888.? NLA)) She was not alone in making such comments in this age of profile child-bearing. The novelist Charles Dickens, for example, wrote in reaction to  the birth of his tenth child, that 'on the whole I could have dispensed with him'.((Edgar Johnson (ed), //Letters from Charles Dickens to Angela Burdett-Coutts 1841-65//, London, Jonathon Cape, 1953, p.198.))\\
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-Nora's confiding in Rosa was probably the only outlet she had to comfortably express her concerns about so many children. The women of Boonah district around Maroon had a very similar fertility pattern. Although Nora was 5.5 years older than the average bride, she became pregnant immediately and had more children than the average woman. Nora had 8 children in 13 years. The district average was 7.76 over 16 years; rural (white) Australia's average number of children was 5.79 and nationally the average was 5.31 children.((Helen Woolcock et al, '"My beloved chloroform': Attitudes to Childbearing in Colonial Queensland', Social History of Medicine Journal, p.443))\\
+Nora's confiding in Rosa was probably the only outlet she had to comfortably express her concerns about so many children. The women of Boonah district around //Maroon// had a very similar fertility pattern. Although Nora was 5.5 years older than the average bride, she became pregnant immediately and had more children than the average woman: 8 children in 13 years. The district average was 7.76 over 16 years; rural (white) Australia's average number of children was 5.79 and nationally the average was 5.31 children.((Helen Woolcock et al, '"My beloved chloroform': Attitudes to Childbearing in Colonial Queensland', Social History of Medicine Journal, p.443))\\
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 A factor in Nora's attitude towards her pregnancies was that childbirth in Queensland was highly dangerous, more so than in Europe or the southern colonies. Nora's fear of dying in childbirth was well-founded. In 1878 the maternal death rate peaked at one mother dying for every 188 live births - and this figure excludes later deaths from birth injuries. For most of Nora's child-bearing years, her chances of dying in childbirth were around 1:200.((Kay Saunders and Katie Spearritt, 'Is there life after birth? Childbirth, death and danger for settler women in colonial Queensland', //Journal of Australian Studies//, 29, June 1991, pp.64-79.)) In Queensland in 1875, 55.2 mothers died for every 10,000 births; in 1885 the figure was 59.1:10,000 births.((Helen Woolcock et al, '"My beloved chloroform': Attitudes to Childbearing in Colonial Queensland', Social History of Medicine Journal, p.443)) Additionally, the chances of the baby dying was high: in 1857, nearly 10.5 per cent of infants died (excluding indigenous births).((Ross Patrick, A History of Health & Medicine in Queensland 1824-1960, St Lucia: University of Queensland Press, 1987, p.31.))\\
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-Nora's modernity also showed itself in her rejection of pain in childbirth. For numerous reasons, pain had traditionally been seen as beneficial.((for an excellent summary, see Helen Woolcock et al, '"My beloved chloroform': Attitudes to Childbearing in Colonial Queensland', //Social History of Medicine Journal//, pp.448-53)) Dr Henry Lightoller, a grandson of Matilda's sister Rose Haly, had an opposing attitude. Nora M-P strongly disapproved of his  refusal to offer pain relief in childbirth, even to his own wife Minnie who had a deformity which meant childbirth was agonising. The only time he allowed Minnie chloroform was when he needed to use instruments to birth the baby. Nora, as she wrote to Rosa Praed, considered '//Dr Lightoller is a staunch opponent of Chloroform tho' his chief argument against  it seems to be the cowardice of taking it which I think is a question for __the sufferer to decide, and could not help__ telling him what I felt keenly, that were it a misfortune to which both sexes were liable chloroform would have been given years ago. He looked astounded at my venturing to discuss the subject, looking on it as becoming in a man and a doctor to lay down the law – for women ‘theirs is not to  reason why – theirs but to suffer and die - a view of the case against which I, as one of the suffering class, protest vehemently. He is a good little dogmatic man, skilful in his degree and he has the best wife that ever trod shoe leather - but I wish she would no be so submissive as regards chloroform//.’ Nora went on to say that Minnie told her '//that she had been 12 hours in the most fearful agony, at the end of which they had given her chloroform which had brought it on so they could use instruments//'. Nora's view was that she //'would want to know a very good reason why before I would suffer like that in deference to my husband's general principle and it stands to reason that she would recover better if she were not so long ill and in pain//'. She was indignant that Dr Lightoller had made Minnie promise not to expect chloroform unless it was necessary for him to use instruments.((Nora M-P to Rosa Praed, 3 April 1881, M-P papers, JOQ, OM81-71.)) The reasons for Dr Lightoller's reluctance to use chloroform was influenced by the common religious view that women were ordained since Eve to give birth in pain, and/or concern about its safety. It was also in keeping with the general reluctance of Brisbane Hospital doctors to use anaesthetics even for amputations and other major surgery even years after its use was routine elsewhere.((John Tyrer, //History of the Brisbane Hospital and its affiliates. A pilgrim's progress//, Brisbane: Boolarong Publications, 1993, pp.61.))\\
+Nora's modernity also showed itself in her rejection of pain in childbirth. For numerous reasons, pain had traditionally been seen as beneficial.((for an excellent summary, see Helen Woolcock et al, '"My beloved chloroform': Attitudes to Childbearing in Colonial Queensland', //Social History of Medicine Journal//, pp.448-53)) Dr Henry Lightoller, a grandson of Matilda's sister Rose Haly, had an opposing attitude. Nora M-P strongly disapproved of his  refusal to offer pain relief in childbirth, even to his own wife Minnie who had a deformity which meant childbirth was agonising. The only time he allowed Minnie chloroform was when he needed to use instruments to birth the baby. Nora, as she wrote to Rosa Praed, considered '//Dr Lightoller is a staunch opponent of Chloroform tho' his chief argument against  it seems to be the cowardice of taking it which I think is a question for the sufferer to decide, and could not help telling him what I felt keenly, that were it a misfortune to which both sexes were liable chloroform would have been given years ago. He looked astounded at my venturing to discuss the subject, looking on it as becoming in a man and a doctor to lay down the law – for women ‘theirs is not to  reason why – theirs but to suffer and die - a view of the case against which I, as one of the suffering class, protest vehemently. He is a good little dogmatic man, skilful in his degree and he has the best wife that ever trod shoe leather - but I wish she would no be so submissive as regards chloroform//.’ Nora went on to say that Minnie told her '//that she had been 12 hours in the most fearful agony, at the end of which they had given her chloroform which had brought it on so they could use instruments//'. Nora's view was that she //'would want to know a very good reason why before I would suffer like that in deference to my husband's general principle and it stands to reason that she would recover better if she were not so long ill and in pain//'. She was indignant that Dr Lightoller had made Minnie promise not to expect chloroform unless it was necessary for him to use instruments.((Nora M-P to Rosa Praed, 3 April 1881, M-P papers, JOQ, OM81-71.)) The reasons for Dr Lightoller's reluctance to use chloroform was influenced by the common religious view that women were ordained since Eve to give birth in pain, and/or concern about its safety. It was also in keeping with the general reluctance of Brisbane Hospital doctors to use anaesthetics even for amputations and other major surgery even years after its use was routine elsewhere.((John Tyrer, //History of the Brisbane Hospital and its affiliates. A pilgrim's progress//, Brisbane: Boolarong Publications, 1993, pp.61.))\\
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-Nora did not live with many of the rights we now take for granted, including control over her own children. After TLM-P's death, her brother Charles Barton was one of her trustees; it was her trustees who, as Charles bluntly told Nora, were responsible for her young children. Given gender divisions, he considered he knew best when it came to her sons. In 1896, four years after TLM-P died, he informed Nora that her 'boys are acting the goat in Brisbane ... they being boys [are] full of nonsense spirits are kicking over the ropes'. With the youngest 10 years old, they were, he insisted, getting beyond her control and should be sent to a good boarding school; he suggested Ipswich. He then appealed to her maternal concerns: that it was 'a matter of supreme importance that your boys should get every advantage.' He was not advising something he would not do to his own children: he'd just sent his three daughters to boarding school and as soon as his sons shed their milk teeth, 'off they go too'.((M-P family papers, NLA, Box 4, folder 22.)) Nora had little choice, but accepted his advice.\\
+Nora did not live with many of the rights we now take for granted, including control over her own children. After TLM-P's death, her brother Charles (Charlie) Barton was one of her trustees; it was her trustees who, as Charles bluntly told Nora, were responsible for her young children. Given gender divisions, he considered he knew best when it came to her sons. In 1896, four years after TLM-P died, he informed Nora that her 'boys are acting the goat in Brisbane ... they being boys [are] full of nonsense spirits are kicking over the ropes'. With the youngest 10 years old, they were, he insisted, getting beyond her control and should be sent to a good boarding school; he suggested Ipswich. He then appealed to her maternal concerns: that it was 'a matter of supreme importance that your boys should get every advantage.' He was not advising something he would not do to his own children: he'd just sent his three daughters to boarding school and as soon as his sons shed their milk teeth, 'off they go too'.((M-P family papers, NLA, Box 4, folder 22.)) Nora had little choice, but accepted his advice.\\
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 As far as her daughters were concerned, Nora was radical and utterly determined that they would not be financially constrained to marry. In one of a number of similar statements, she replied to Rosa's query '//how I am going to get them husbands. I am going to bring them up to be happy old maids. If the husband comes, well and good - but if he does not come, they shall not feel their lives wasted and spoilt. Nor will they take the wrong man as better than none. They are to be taught cooking and sewing and all household accomplishments, be thoroughly versed in modern languages and be put in the way of reading and enlarging their own minds rather than crammed with facts//.'((Nora M-P to Rosa Praed, 22 December 1878, Praed papers, QJOL))\\
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-All the seven surviving children of this second marriage shared equally in a bequest of £28,000 in their father's will. The income from this bequest was substantially less than TLM-P would have hoped because, when he died, Australia was experiencing a severe depression and then suffered from a prolonged drought. As well, his estate had to absorb a significant loss of money on the Aberfoyle property. By 1905, the interest on their £4,000 each earned them £72 p.a. - or around $10,809 in 2018 values.((https://www.rba.gov.au/calculator/annualPreDecimal.html)) This was fine for the sons as it added to their income; less so for the single daughters who did not earn their own living and had to rely on their mother's financial support.((TLM-P, Last will and testament, 1892 and Legal opinion re Trusts of the Will of Thomas Lodge Murray Prior Decd, 11 November 1905 and 11 June 1940, copies with J. Godden. check re 4keach x 7))\\
+All the seven surviving children of this second marriage shared equally in a bequest of £28,000 in their father's will. The income from this bequest was substantially less than TLM-P would have hoped because, when he died, Australia was experiencing a severe depression and then suffered from a prolonged drought. As well, his estate had to absorb a significant loss of money on the //Aberfoyle// property. By 1905, the interest on their £4,000 each earned them £72 p.a. - or around $10,809 in 2018 values.((https://www.rba.gov.au/calculator/annualPreDecimal.html)) This was fine for the sons as it added to their income; less so for the (all unemployed) single daughters who relied on their mother's financial support.((TLM-P, Last will and testament, 1892 and Legal opinion re Trusts of the Will of Thomas Lodge Murray Prior Decd, 11 November 1905 and 11 June 1940, copies with J. Godden. check re 4keach x 7))\\
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 **For more details of these children and their descendants, click on the sidebar entry.** \\
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 The following sketches are of Nora in 1929 when she was 83 years old; they are by her great-niece Isabel Huntley. She died two years later, at home in Highgate, London((//Townsville Daily Bulletin//, 7 July 1931, p.9.)) - released from suffering after years of illness.((M-P papers, NLA MS 7801, Box 1, folder 11.))\\
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-{{:nora_in_old_age.jpg?300|}}{{:scan_20171228_5_nora_old_age.jpg?300|}} ((Provenance: photo from Nora M-P album, now with J. Godden.))
+{{:nora_in_old_age.jpg?300|}}{{:scan_20171228_5_nora_old_age.jpg?300|}} ((Provenance: photo from Nora M-P album, now with J. Godden; copies of these drawings are also with F. & E. Cullen-Ward.))